I LOVE people who
Pick dirt from their finger nails with a fork at the dinner table.
Talk in movie theatres.
Converse with a self-righteous, I'm-going-to-save-the-world affectation.
View life as a competition.
Put their boyfriends' needs above their own.
Make you feel guilty for eating meat. As you're eating it, of course.
Surrender themselves to Jesus.
Hate reading. Books are so old school!
Use passive-aggressive behavior to get what they want.
Think anorexia is hot.
Are smarter, funnier and sexier than I am.
Let frugality run their lives.
Won't take "no" for an answer. Especially would-be rapists.
Push you to be the very best version of yourself. Especially Oprah.
Use blog posts to air their dirty laundry. My ex has a small wang!
Have no desire to see the world. Seeing the world is so pretentious.
Fart on your face.
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